A number of my friends, especially Joni, compare me to Marianne Dashwood in Sense & Sensibility. I find her strong tendency to throw herself into emotional danger with no regard for personal safety admirable; she believes even the smallest chance paradise could be found is worth great risk-- she risks herself.
"Can the heart truly be satisfied with polite affection? [You should sacrifice greatly] like Juliet or Guenevere or Eloise!"
Her mother argues, "They had rather pathetic ends, dear."
"Pathetic?" She asks. "To die for love? How can you say so? What could be more glorious!"
"I think that's carrying your romantic sensibilities a bit too far."
Here's the question then. Would you do anything to gain what you most long for, or crave? Like the Little Mermaid in Anderson's fairy tale, would you leave behind all you know, all you love, and sacrifice your greatest joys and treasures (she relinquishes her voice) simply to be close to your heart's desire? What if you thought it wouldn't work out? If you knew you'd never grasp it fully, would you believe the inevitable anguish was worth the cost to feel, even for a moment, that the deepest yearnings of the heart were almost within reach?
In her novel The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCullough says it thus.
"There is a legend about a bird that sings just once in its life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth.
From the moment it leaves the nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it's found one. Then, singing joyfully among the savage branches, it impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine. And, dying, it rises above its agony to out carol the lark and the nightingale. One superlative song, existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles.
For the best is bought only at the cost of great pain. ...Or so says the legend."
Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself for what you want most? I would, without question! I may end up like Ariel: voice-less, sitting on a pier watching Eric sail off on a wedding ship with another girl, and I may even expect that outcome, but I will sell my voice everytime if only to get close to reaching what I most want.
Would I sacrifice my heart? Unequivocally.
*quoted from one of my favorite movies, Master and Commander.
4 comments:
Your zeal reminds me of how Joan of Arc felt when asked to recant her beliefs.
"But to surrender what you are and to live without belief is more terrible than dying- more terrible than dying young.”
There is something to be said for strong commitment or desire! You go girl!!!
THANKS MOM! You always understand me, don't you? :) Also, thank you for that quote, it is magnificent; it exactly captures what I wished to communicate and feel.
Thank heaven for long-range communication, because I can't live without you! I can't believe you leave in two days.
So the question is...what do you want?
I wish I was like this sometimes. I think that's why we're so good for each other. Have I ever shared my favorite CS Lewis quote with you?
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
Love you and stuff :) I hope you're doing ok. Call me!!!
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