Monday, April 27, 2009

A Rachel Review: IVANHOE, 1982

IVANHOE, a classic tale written by Sir Walter Scott heralds the fight between Norman & Saxon by means of battle, tournament, and honor. 


Such an ending is unequaled in the entire history of film! (Though the ending scene from the 1935 Mummy where the girl is carried away from her fiancee to drown in the lake might be a close second.) Rebecca misses out because she's a jew? Historically accurate, surely, for the jewess to lose out-- but the rest of the story isn't accurate! Why shouldn't the romance work out at least? 

Ivanhoe is an awful man! AW-FUL MAN!! He tells Richard the Lionheart that if Rebecca weren't a jew he'd never let her out of his sight, and he tells Rebecca that if god had granted them to be of the same race their love would have surpassed all others. 

...and then he marries the blonde. 

I'm sorry, but did I misunderstand? You--what? Okay, no. Just no. No. NO. You do NOT leave Olivia Hussey for a blonde. No. NO. Uh uh. Seriously, it just isn't done.  And you know what else? You definitely don't give the no-account blonde a large picture on the cover of the dvd while Olivia shrinks into obscurity. 

Costumes: really quite good. Headgear for everyone was superb, and the jousting clothes were terrific. 

Actors: Lots of famous people. Even John Rhys-Davies is in this. Of course, the merits of the movie were also the reasons why I found it detestable-- Anthony Andrews and Olivia Hussey play their characters with such longing that when they don't end up together a part of your heart wilts. I should have learned during Scarlet Pimpernel that when Anthony Andrews pines over a girl he loves desperately but will not allow himself, the results are incredulity, and misery of the acutest kind; his heart bleeds inwardly and the look in his eyes is its only evidence of heartbreak. Andrews' acting particularly is fabulous to observe, but terrible to endure. 

Rachel's Review: He loves Rebecca, but marries Rowena whom he "also" loves.  That's just crap. 

4 comments:

shelly said...

How did you really feel about this film, Rachel? Hahaha! Love your review, except for being wishy-washy.

Rachel EM said...

Hahaha-- thanx, Shelly! What a compliment! :)

Unknown said...

Um, her name is Hussey right? I mean, I don't like leaving girls hanging either, but... is it that much of a mystery?

Rachel EM said...

The ACTRESS' name is Hussey, yes. But the hussy you are thinking of is not spelled that way. Besides which, Rebecca the character is anything but that.

...

"Brazen hussy!"
[My daughter is no hussy!]
"Yes she is. See? She's got her underwear on!"
[Well certainly she has, don't you?]