I'm Back & Don't Forget Your Corset

May I be so fortunate as to wear this dress... if only in fantasy land*.

I'm back! Safe in the land of altitude! I had so much fun while I was away and I'll tell you all about it. But before I talk about my trip I'd like to address the subject of humidity in summer heat.

I don't think humidity is as terrible as people claim, WHEN and ONLY WHEN there is a slight breeze to accompany it (then the moisture feels cool on your skin, etc etc,) or you're in the open air (again with the air circulation thing). If however, you are standing in a stagnant, enclosed space --say, my sister's sun-room in Houston-- it may be difficult to breathe and you'll feel sick to your stomach.

But outside in the summer heat, do I find direct sunlight with no humidity to filter out the sun's death rays of I-will-incinerate-you-on-the-asphalt-if-you-even-think-of-leaving-the-shade more oppressive than humidity's good-afternoon-step-outside-and-I'll-steam-every-wrinkle-from-your-khaki-linen-pants? Yes. Yes, I do. Now I can hear what my parents are thinking. They're thinking that I didn't get to feel humidity when it was hot enough, but you know what? I still don't buy it. Dry heat is worse.

Try Arizona. I have a friend working for a roofing company down there, and after the heat-rays reflect from any given surface you get the heat not once but twice, and you are literally scalded by the sun.

During my way down to Texas my sister's family and I stopped at Four Corners. Man was that hot. Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot with all capital H hhhhhhhhawts. Way worse than Houston was.

Final Verdict: dry heat is easier to escape from than humidity; all you need is shade, whereas with humidity you have to find an air-conditioning unit. But if you're just gonna get chucked outside for a few hours, left alone to the elemental power of summertime heat, dry heat will kill you faster.


Bet you're wondering why I posted the picture of that delicious Victorian gown? For just a moment, pretend you're in the 1860's. Take whatever awful summer symptoms you're suffering and add petticoats, bloomers, a shift, stockings, a hoop skirt, and of course--a corset. Poof! We've just made summer worse!

Summon the tone of voice the alien uses on Galaxy Quest to describe the fate of the Gilligan's Island folk--"those poor people"-- and you'll have it just about right to describe ye olde populace. In those clothes, and under the skirts they wore, there would be no escape from humidity wherever you went. Talk about grim, grisly, greusome! Sounds more like dead, deathly, and dying to me.


Perhaps you were thinking that you'd get away without a corset? That you could escape its fate? Many think corsets weren't necessary and that they just gave people a smaller waist. No. That's not it. At least that's not all of it. Corsets also provided bust support (which, when you have a bust, is quite necessary to be comfortable for long periods of time, thank you very much). Don't forget your corset.

*I've visited this dress several times in fantasy land. Not to be a southern belle; if I were going to be a debutante in my head I'd be wearing a frilly, frothy, shoulder-revealing silk piece involving any number of ruffles. Yes, Kaylie, ruffles. But when I first saw this dress I instantly thought it carried the exact description of the plain dress Beauty wears in Robin McKinley's book Beauty, A Retelling of Beauty and the Beast, after refusing a ball gown out of fear of looking drab in a fancy dress. Ahhhh, what clever enchantments books are. Fantasy land is a lovely thing.