Kick in the Teeth Salad

Ingredients:

Romaine Lettuce
Crushed Spicy Nacho Doritos (way better than croutons!)
Green Onions
Black Beans
A ton of cilantro (1/3 as much as your lettuce)
Salsa of choice (less fat than dressing!)
(add a squeeze of lime if you have it)

Ohhhhh man I want to eat this again soon. Really soon.

Whoa: A Pineapple's Ring Cycle

The Williams-Sonoma Pineapple Slicer cores and ring-slices a pineapple for you.

Unforgettable Book. (Ages 9+)

The first line:

"So, there I was, tied to an altar made from outdated encyclopedias, about to get sacrificed to the dark powers by a cult of evil Librarians."

Alcatraz Smedry and his insane family (though he's been raised by foster parents), make this book unbelievably awesome. DIE LAUGHING AWESOME.

You'll love it! I promise you. Especially if you liked Percy Jackson-- you must read Alcatraz.

For Alicia

Thank you, Mr. Pumice

Get your own Mr. Pumice at Sally's Beauty Supply. Your calluses will thank you.

When my hands and feet developed a strange peeling-disease, you were there.
When dragon scales appeared magicians failed to banish them, but you were there.
When ordinary exfoliation didn't help you were there.

Thank you for being so cheap and for lasting so long.

I'll always love you, Mr. Pumice. Always.

Sage & Sesame Bread

In Jerusalem an egg-bread coated with sesame seeds can be found fairly easily, and right now it sounds so tasty. The native way to eat this bread is to tear off a chunk and dip it in sage, as modeled above by friends Karey Knackstedt and Craig Estep. Mmm, sage.

Why include the hideous parts?

Take out rug, remove antler head = deal. Honestly. That rug clashes terribly with the curtains, and as long as Bambi's father's on the wall no one will notice the ceiling lantern. WHY do designers always include nasty stuff when they decorate? So wrong.

I Love You, Daddy.

"My Hawk Says You Can't Have One."

BYU students just won a huge award for this Dorito's ad. Read all about it.

I wonder if his wolverine came from the Bean Museum?

Curious About the History of Wedding Cake?

While I don't know why anyone would volunteer to read a 12 pg research paper just for fun, Piece of Cake: The Revolution of American Wedding Confection, is now available if you wish to read it.

Photo by Eliot Elisofon for LIFE magazine, 1942.

Please note that my paper isn't perfect; I'm just an undergrad and I don't care too much. Also, I apologize for its dry nature. If I'd been able to include all of my fun research, this would have been WAY more interesting. Apparently scholarly writing only includes authoritative-mumbo-jumbo and is limited to facts that impact your thesis. *eyeroll.* I think for AurelianBall I'll include an addendum with random tidbits. Stuff like this:

DID YOU KNOW:
Queen Victoria's wedding cake was 10 ft wide, and 300 lbs, but
Queen Elizabeth II's wedding cake was 9 ft high, and 500 lbs?


...the best part is that I know why Victoria's was tall and Elizabeth's was wide! Ahem.Exercising restraint. Must stop gushing.

Love your floss-- it will love you back.

These Piranha Floss Holders are sweet-awesome! Floss comes out the bottom and then you can use their razor-sharp teeth (ha ha) to cut off your floss.

WHAT PEOPLE KNOW BUT PAY LITTLE ATTENTION TO: Floss is cheap and could save you big money on your next dentist bill.

WHAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW: Floss can help your heart! Through your gums, plaque can enter your blood stream and cause blockages in your arteries. Plaque can also cause inflammation in your gums, which sets off similar reactions in other parts of your body-- i.e., swelling blood cells, which narrows your arteries. So floss it up, people! :)

Midnight Snack

Oy. Since I'm off of sugar and yeast a LARGE group of my staple food items is defunct. After (daily) pouting over my loss I've been trying to fall in love with new foods. In a desperate and depressing rut of food options I decided to eat something different, but seemingly pathetic:

Fresh cilantro, with corn tortillas (toasted in the toaster) dipped in my favorite Salsa.



A surprisingly awesome combo. I can't wait to eat more tomorrow!

The Sun In Your Heart

Do you feel at the end of your rope? Exhausted? Depressed or angry? Alone? I understand; I know how you feel, and someone else does too. He's the "big guy upstairs," and He knows all about you. So if you feel wrung out, drained, or just don't want to try anymore-- this is for you.

I'm laughing at clouds--so dark up above;

The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place--
Come on with the rain! I've a smile on my face!

For years people smiled and told me "You're in control of the way you feel. You can always control your attitude!" I still do not believe this. Especially considering physiological chemicals your body reacts to (or produces on its own), things are not always in your control. But there is something that can help, and that will cheer and lift both you and those around you that you can control: gratitude.

Make a habit of finding something to be thankful for when you feel low. Even if it's "gee those clouds look pretty," or "I'm glad I have a full tank of gas," or "I'm so glad I can walk up stairs without help," gratitude will help, I promise you. Maybe just a little, but it will help.

Storms in life are unavoidable, and many many times it seems black clouds hover only over our own heads. Instead of trying to fight the storm, because often, nothing can make the rain stop, instead use gratitude to put the sun in your heart. You'll find your own reasons to dance and sing in the rain.

Here's advice from an experienced professional:

"Will prayers that do not demand much of your thought merit much attention from our Heavenly Father? When you find yourself getting into a routine with your prayers, step back and think. Meditate for a while on the things for which you really are grateful. Look for them. They don't have to be grand or glorious. Sometimes we should express our gratitude for the small and simple things like the scent of the rain, the taste of your favorite food, or the sound of a loved one's voice. Thinking of things we are grateful for is a healing balm. It helps us get outside ourselves. It changes our focus from our pains and our trials to the abundance of this beautiful world we live in."

--Joseph B. Wirthlin

Hee Hee Hee.

"More gravy than grave? Oh, what a terrible pun!" Of course, there's always the Chopin Board, too.

Love the Italy-Romance Genre, 2010 ed.

I keep thinking about When in Rome. I fully intend to buy it. It leans to the comedy side of Romantic Comedy--hey-- if Danny DeVito and Napoleon Dynamite (what's his real name, anyway?) simultaneously chase after a girl you know some laughs will pop out. The dreamy Tad Hamilton guy, as in WinADateWith... is again... dreamy, but in this movie he's so nice! Also high on the dreamy-scale is Kristin Bell's total glam-sophisticated job at the Guggenheim in NYC.

This movie contains: street-magicians, both a very good and a very bad wedding toast, magic Roman fountains, catholic priests who play poker, Italian folk dancing, a date in complete darkness, self-absorbed male models, lightning storms, Angelica Houston, and a winning end-scene I quote all the time (but don't want to spoil).

Most recently I saw Letters to Juliet. I love Vanessa Redgrave as an old lady!* Such a lovely film. Less comedy > More romance. The opening credits was a collection of paintings and photographs of people kissing from all ages of time that had breathtaking adorability. In a plot reminiscent of Only You (easily the best Italy-Romance comedy ever,) the characters drive all over Tuscany trying to track down a guy with only his name as a reference. Letters to Juliet has a fabulous ending--something very important in my romance movie choices; because yes, we knew Jane wouldn't end up with Mr. Lefroy, but did Becoming Jane really have to end so badly? I think not.

This movie contains: Italian food, sweet and whimsical romance, gorgeous scenery (including Sienna, where Dylan lived for a summer), an unbelievably dashing British guy--hello, British abs!--whoamagosh, he's charming, the original Camelot movie's Gwenevere & Lancelot back together again (as different characters, obviously), and again-- a dreamy NYC job--this time as a fact checker for the New Yorker.

*please watch her performance of an elderly woman with dementia in Evening.

Forever in Peace May You Wave

Happy Flag Day!

When flying your own flag, please observe official US flag regulation 7.i : When displayed either horizontally or vertically against a wall, the union (stars) should be uppermost and to the flag's own right, that is, to the observer's left. (As shown above.) STARS ALWAYS IN THE UPPER LEFT. Thank you.

Complete rules for flying the US flag found here.