You Can't Handle the Trek

But it's only 2 miles, you say to yourself. Pah!

2 miles over your-shoe-will-be-sucked-off-by-this-quagmire mud, 

2 miles up and down every 85 degree drop/raise hill in the Nauvoo area,

2 miles across 57,989,673 tree roots (while you wonder why you couldn't just steer five feet over off the trail where it's flat), 

2 miles over cow dung (I stepped in three pies), and

2 miles where you must be sure not to lean on an evil thorn tree (people have been punctured, and some thorns are 7" long!)

This isn't your average Wyoming handcart trek, people. Beware! BEWARE!