Thank you, Dylan

One of my favorite drawings of all time, the sign reads "unfair to frogs."

Most of you know me really well. I therefore apologize if you've been around me when I'm at the end of my rope: exhibiting signs of desperation, emotion, panic, and a short temper. I've been in this state near constantly for three weeks (starting the day after Thanksgiving when I broke down into premonition-tears of knowing exactly what I was going to have to go through during my folk dance Christmas concert, moving into our house, and trying to still go to classes let alone do my homework at the same time).

Poor Dylan. He's had to do all that too, but he also had to deal with a fiancee who couldn't breathe for coughing, who could hardly walk on an injured leg, who was breaking emotionally with the thought of never with performing again, and who refused to do necessary things like homework because it was just too much to handle. He's had to work so hard physically to get through a week-long dance concert himself, and even found the energy to help me too.

I've been leaning on Dylan so heavily and am astonished that he's not only let me, but that he keeps asking what more he can do. I adore him, and have the hardest time leaving his side. Most other guys, I think, would have felt smothered by me a long time ago. Somehow Dylan doesn't mind me hounding his steps. I really do stick to him like glue; for the simple reason that when I'm with him I feel like my world is perfect, and not like it's cracking to bits.

I can't believe he's still here. Exposed to the nightmare I've been going through, aren't people supposed to take cover, or run away? He's still here. With me! I am so blessed to have him.

My fiance is brilliant. He works so hard, and has a genius for so many things I have no gift for understanding. He is more diligent than any person I have ever met, always doing the right thing and on the right schedule. Dylan amazes me with this, partially because I am feebly weak in that area. He is patient, he is understanding, giving, and full of light. He makes me laugh, he quotes movies at exactly the right time to save me from despair, and he's still sticking around to marry me.

Thank you, Dylan. Thank you! Thank you because "leaves are crunchy," because "we need to find a new activity," because "it just popped right into my frond!" and because you drove me to Target on BlackFriday at 5am so that we could get a TV. Thank you for making me dinner, for being so nice to my roommates, for walking me home when it's 2 degrees outside, and for wearing that white suit jacket to big band night. Thanks for carrying me up stairs and down hallways when I couldn't move on my own. Thanks for reading me proto-Slavonic literature, and thanks for loving mushrooms, raz-cran, and those frozen bread rolls. Thanks for being the good man you are, for doing everything you're supposed to, and most of all,

Thanks for asking me to marry you.

Drive Away

If I could do anything today, I'd get a car with a full tank of gas and drive away-- hop the freeway and follow the sun west.


If I could do anything today, I'd fill a container with birdseed and converse with the finches.


If I could do anything today, I'd curl up with a good book. Or five.

"Meanwhile, I'm Still Here."

I'm still alive! Posting is evidence. While I'm letting you know that I still exist, take a look at my latest two inspirations of cake decor:



Props to anyone who gets the quote.

To Make A Cake

I've long fantacized about making my own wedding cake. This one (that I'm wanting to make) would not be too complicated, and would taste absolutely divine. Not to mention the fact that making it myself would save me $300, and I already have all of the ingredients, including the 15 bags of frozen raspberries needed for the filling. 

What do you think I should do? Are you of the opinion that a bride making her own wedding cake will just be a disaster, too stressful, etc? Or do you think it could turn out all right?

Also, I hate the "let's poke flowers into a cake to make it look more elegant for their wedding" philosophy. If you're not going to eat it, don't put it on the cake.  I love that this one is garnished with white and red raspberries. Not only is it elegant, but just one glance is enough to make you ache to taste it. Right? "Of course right."

FOR RENT

Dylan and I are renting our first home today! 

Maybe I will dress like her when I sign the contract.